What It Takes- V.G.

singing it all out loud

you dont care bout the crowd

giving it all your best

you think about all of the rest

*

and you re giving it all up for the crowd

your body and soul, your heart and your mind

and they tell you hey girl you better get yourself a safe place

but you dont mind cause it isnt theirs to take

 *

it hurts so much that you brake

*

tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, you re a wise guy

tell me how you do it

tell me how you survive

and he says

gotta realize girl, they re all lost

they re lambs without a shephard, without a guide

 *

it hurts so much that they brake

 

*
so that s where you come in

you give them strength

you give them a sense of benignen

you give them what they need to get through the day

you get your money and everybody gets on their way

*

giving it all up for the crowd

cause they re not different people

they are what u are

you gotta do your share

cause there s no one who can take your place

*

dont be scared of your fall

that is gonna happen

gonna win them all

you can only win when you loose

cause that s when you find

your rhythm n blues

*

but before that

 

it needs to hurt so much that you brake

 

*

when you fall down on your knees

that s when life starts

that s when you realize what s happening

and only then, and only then

you can reach out

and be their friend

**

Take It Easy – V.G.

My Love – V.G.

it used to be so easy
to fall in love
it used to be so easy
but it was not nearly enough

cause i cry and i fake
and i worship my mistakes
i am haunted to be wanted

by those pains, by those aches
someone did, someone said
yess, i am haunted, i am wanted
by my love.

used to be so easy
to pretend that i am not
the one who makes it easy
to feel my love

cause i fight and i blame
i am a victim of my shame
i am haunted to be wanted

and i prey and i weigh
yess, i notice everyday
that i am not the one
who is my love.

now it is so easy
to be finally the one
the one who makes it easy
to feel my love

so i fight and i pray, i get better everyday
to be the one by my side
i let go of my pain, i let go of my shame
and i know that i am
my love .

cause only my love is my love, is my love, my love.

Glorifying Myself – V.G.

Glorifying myself to the limit, yess i am
Glorifying myself again
There s nothing out there for me
I know it from where i stand
Glorifying myself again.

Dont know what to do and dont know what to say
Cause all my mind is doing is just dancing away
In circles, in circles
Round and round it goes
I m just standing and watching the way it flows-

Years pass, years pass
And i am still glorifying myself to the limit, again.

Glorifying myself to limit, yess i am
As if all those years never happened
As if nothing ever showed me the way
I choose to glorify myself, again.

**
I know what is going wrong
I know what you gonna say
I know and I dont care
Bout glorifying myself again
**

Living my life like it s a one way street
Like nothing out there is telling me
That I m gonna pay for every decision i make
I m gonna pay, i m gonna pay, i m gonna pay
Anway.

Choosing right over the wrong and feeling proud
Just like i sucked out all the wisdom from the crowd
There s nothing out there that can take me as high
Like you do
When i m all quiet down.

**
I know what is going wrong
I know what you gonna say
I know and I dont care
Bout glorifying myself again.

**

Free At Last – V.G.

Still One A.M. – J.H.Z.

Alone, at last! Slam the door shut, could as well leave it open, in our building only bicycles get stolen.

Alone, at last, with my beloved, at last the tyranny of the human face has disappeared, and I shall be the only cause of my suffering.

I retreat into the kitchen, to escape the singing of my wife, and through a sheer act of will I expel from the realm of my thoughts the muted voices of the ever quarreling neighbours.

Strange City. Strange Life! Let us recapitulate the day:

In the morning I was summoned to a meeting into the firm where I´m precariously employed. Distributed handshakes and heared some names in the same proportion, which I instantly forgot, knowing well I would meet them again in half a years time at the earliest. Was embarrassed by my possible mouth odor, having no health insurance and didn´t attend a dentist for a while. Introduced to a collague under the pretext that I too had studied economic education, and I replied: No, philosophy – whereas there were ahs and ohs, as if I just descended from the moon.

Someone was kind enough to ask me, who my favorite philosopher is, and when I said “Gilles Deleuze”, without the obligatory suffix “contemporary french philosopher”, he put on a deeply astonished face, as if it were my fault, that western philosophy continued after 1781. After all, obviously todays encyclopedists are seated in consultant companies for economy.

After the meeting I had lunch with my girlfirend, which we cooked together, whilst she meant, it´s ok to put it in the mouth, but a tergo only after the wedding, whereat I tossed in, that under this condition there probably won´t be one.

Later on we accepted an invitation to a film festival, where we ignored and were ignored by the same art students that already ignored us in our own art gallery. The movie was about pedophilia but drinking was the central theme, also the emotions were cooled down to sub-zero. Nobody smoked.

Afterwards I chatted with a friend about the connection between the world religions and the prohibition of drugs, whereupon my friend opined, that the masters and prophets left the drug use at the disposal of ones own state of consciousness.

Now, at home, how should I gather the grace to write some lines of code for my own project, which shall prove to myself that I am not inferior to those who have so much more money, and whom I understand better than they understand themselves.

Discipline – V.G.

one of these days, one of these nights

my mind will stop to put up a fight

my heart will open

and you will know

i m worthy of the courage you chose me for

i m worthy of the sword

you put into my hands

i m holding and using it

no matter which stance

is coming to take my breath away

is coming to challenge the trust you gave

the trust that you put in me

the day you took away my misery

the day you knew if you tuned it up

the walls will crumble

i ll drink from your cup

and even though i know i m here

due to your mercy, your wishes, your glory and your tears

who is it i dare to fight

if not my own ladder of oversight

what is it i need to bare

if not the cross that brings my share

of luck and lust and before all that

the fun that never seizes to end

the fun that teaches through pits of pain

that weakness only leaves

when discipline is my name.